She didn't! Oh yes, I did! I'm putting it all out there for God and everyone to see! Yesterday, June 1st I stepped on a scale and after looking twice to see if I had mistook the numbers it revealed 227 pounds!
I then stripped down to the necessities and stepped back on hoping against all odds that somehow a t-shirt and shorts weighed 20 pounds but alas it only shaved off only 2 pounds!
You maybe asking yourself why is she being so bold (or stupid)? The short answer is, I'm tired.
I'm tired of being ashamed, embarrassed about how I look. Tired of being alone, tired of struggling up three flights of stairs to get home every day, I'm also tired of trying to get into shape on my own. By putting this on my blog I thought I would enlist all of you out there to help me to be accountable!
I have made avoiding mirrors and getting my picture taken into a hobby! When I do see myself in a mirror or picture I am appalled. I don't recognize myself! I don't think I look that bad, that is until I see myself. Without sounding too conceited when I was younger I spent a lot of time looking the mirror and looking for a reason to have my picture taken. I was pretty, not gorgeous but definitely not what I look like now.
I have an idea of what I am looking for in a partner in life but they definitely wouldn't want to take on what I have to offer at the moment. Continuing on my shallowness, currently I would attract what I am putting out which is not what I would be looking for, it's not something I'm proud of but it is how I feel!
Each time I start a weight loss struggle I think "This is it! I feel it, this time I will be successful!" Seriously, this time I KNOW I will succeed! How is it different from all my other attempts? This time it is a lifestyle change, not a diet. It's a commitment to myself, I have also realized that this is something that I need the Lord's help in order to succeed. Through Him all things are possible and I KNOW that He is with me and wants me to be triumphant on this latest journey.
I've started walking, I'm looking for additional exercise opportunities, I signed up for telephone coaching regarding nutrition & fitness and I'm improving my food choices. I am going to start including in my daily prayers that God instills in me the desire to make good choices regarding food and exercise.
Food, laziness and self indulgence are my sins. They are like a warm security blanket that I wrap myself up in. I've grown accustom to their destructive warmth and security.
Even though you know it is bad for you a person will go back to what is familiar, we take comfort in it, we know what the outcome will be with this familiar yet destructive behavior. Doing the opposite is way too scary. It is cold, dark, unpredictable and the probability of failure is high in this new territory.
I'm still terrified but I will be praying for God to light my new path brightly, surround me with encouragement, strength, courage and will power. Soon what was cold, dark & unpredictable will become my new warm security blanket. It will become my new 'normal'.
I'll keep you posted monthly on my progress. I would appreciate your prayers (& or positive thoughts) regarding my new journey and if there is a way that I could help you in your endeavors please let me know, we are all in this 'life' together and we are here to help one another.
Keep smiling and know that God loves you and so do I.
L
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