Discoveries

In this process of paying more attention to myself I have made some interesting discoveries.

Some of them might make you scratch your head and say “Really?” but remember, this is my process!

Tidiness

Growing up I don’t think I was an overly neat child but I don’t think I had heaps of clutter you had to wade through.  During my marriage I tried to keep things neat but inevitably there were stacks of papers laying around, it didn’t bother me too much because I was busy with Sara.

Now, I strive to have things in there place, don’t get me wrong my place isn’t magazine worthy but it’s tidy.

Comfort

This was a surprising discovery for me.  It was just this week I put this together!

Comfort is HUGE to me.  I seek it out in so many ways.  Clothing for example, my clothing selection is meager, for the most though it is comfortable.  My dream is to get ambushed by Clinton & Stacy from What Not to Wear!  My clothing is VERY BORING!  Again, I try to blend into the background and my wardrobe definitely helps with that, if it’s not white or black or bland it’s not in my closet!  I love shoes but you would never know it, I wear tennis shoes most of the time and when I want to ‘mix it up’ I wear my pair of ballet flats!  WOO HOO! I’m so sassy!  There are days I rush home to shed whatever I have on and climb into my PJ’s with a HUGE sigh of relief.

Furniture for me really needs to be comfortable.  Right now I am struggling in this area.  My bed is semi comfortable and I can make do with it for now.  My couch (or sofa depending on what part of the country you hail from) is a totally different matter.  It and I are not exactly on speaking terms right now, I hope to replace it after the first of the year.  I long for something I can snuggle into and feel ever so cozy.  Something that if you listen really closely says ‘There, there, I’m here for you..’  I know what you’re saying, this chick is nuts, but secretly you know what I mean.  Tell me you haven’t gone to a showroom and sat in a piece of furniture that cradles you just right, it felt so good you didn’t want to get up, go ahead… tell me.  Aaah Hah!!  I knew it!

Food, who doesn’t love comfort food?  Warm soups, cheesy sauces, piles of potato’s & protein, LOTS of protein!  Again, things that wrap me in warmth & comfort.

Music, I love chamber pieces by Bach, Mozart, Vivaldi.  They transport me back in time.  I can picture myself walking through European palace gardens, the warm sunlight on my light powdered face, I can hear the soft crunching of my feet on the gravel paths, a slight breeze rustles the skirt on my silk gown as I smell the roses…..  I also have found through cable a music channel called Soundscapes.  It’s mostly independent artist that perform acoustic, soft, earthy comforting music.  Lots of recorders, gongs and sitars, who doesn’t love a good sitar?

Freedom

Is my last realization (for now) is, having only myself to be accountable to gives me comfort. The freedom of being able to do what I want when I want. I’m the one setting the schedule.  I try to vary my daily activities, I pay attention on how I put my make up on and try to do it a different order, the same with getting dressed or making the bed.  I don’t want to fall into a routine rut, get lost in the routine.  I feel like I've wasted enough of my life not living it I don't want to sleepwalk through anymore of it.

Comfort to me is ease, warmth, peace & satisfaction.

What is it that brings you comfort?  Please tell me, I really want to know.

Keep smiling & remember God loves you and so do I.

L